Most films made this century are boring as fuck.

I remember one weekend as a film student, back in the mid-'90s, standing outside a multiplex agonizing over which movie to see. At least three of them were must-see and the budget simply wouldn't allow for it.

Look at some of the titles from 1990: Ghost, Dances with Wolves, Pretty Woman, The Hunt for Red October, Misery, Goodfellas, Edward Scissorhands, Quigley Down Under, Lord of the Flies, Postcards from the Edge.

I have seen at least 80% of the top 100 films from that year. And yet today was the first time I set foot inside a theater in eighteen months. You can blame the fractured market, you can blame streaming or Netflix or your aunt's bunions, I don’t care, but my take is at the top of the article.

The cause lies with two things: executives frightened of their own shadows, and activism.

Dear baby Jesus, the whole world outside of L.A. wants Hollywood to please, please, please shut the fuck up. Just do what you are paid to (attempt to) do: provide high quality entertainment.

That's all we care about. We want to trade our hard-earned cash for a couple hours of distraction from our lives. If we feel a deep yearning for a lecture, we'll call our mothers or audit a Women's Studies course.

Few in the film industry sit on a higher horse than little Jimmy Cameron, who got his start making low-budget shlock for Roger Corman before having a dream about seven fatted calves and seven lean calves.

Oh, wait, that was a different prophet. (Yes, I know it was Pharaoh's dream. Thanks for ruining a great line.) Jimmy is all about the profit.

Nothing quite like a man with nearly a billion dollars bitching about the evils of making money, as he did in his box office hit, Avatar – a film so damn predictable even psychics knew what would happen.

Maybe Jimmy thinks everyone who becomes wealthy is as much of a know-it-all asshole as he is. It would explain a lot.

Apparently, we lowly plebes haven't learned our lessons because another edition of "Dances with Aliens" is in the works. Goody. Please waste three minutes of your life watching the tedious teaser below for Cameron's number two.

If it looks familiar, it's only because 90% of the video uses clips from the first Avatar, with a narration that sounds like a reject from open mic night at Le Café Snob. (Is it redundant to put that in French?)

It's quite a feat to make two minutes feel like raising a child takes less time. And less pain. Although the sea french fries made me hungry, and now I need to find a McDonalds.

You know the difference between a Roger Corman film and a Hollywood blockbuster? The budget, and Corman at least knew what he was making. Little Jimmy has learned that with enough people and money and computers you can not just polish a turd but dazzle people into thinking it's a diamond.

Nobody gives a fuck anymore about simply telling a goddamned story. There must be lessons. Make no mistake, dear readers, some people in the film industry see you as idiots who run around all day making wrong choices. And it makes them even more nuts than usual.

Back in the day, Ronnie Howard made a little movie about an event in history, called Apollo 13. Remember that one? Here's the trailer, in case you forgot:

What Opie managed to pull off was to manufacture tension in a story when everybody fucking knows what will happen: nobody dies. You may not have known the details but you knew the spacemen came back alive. Plus he made heroes out of a whole mess of engineers talking engineer-ese all through the movie.

Think about what an achievement that is. Then think about how fucking boring most of the films being produced are. It's a complete waste of everyone's lives and money.

Before long, all of the capable filmmakers will be retired or dead and there's nobody to take their places. We are witnessing the gradual suicide of an entire industry.

Look at that list from 1990 and ask yourself if any of them would get made today. Well, Dances with Wolves has been done again, in blue.

You and I, we have better ways to waste time and money than on fucking boring movies.