This weekend the Jeff Magnum curated ATP Weekender takes place, and to get you all pumped up we have this superb ATP guide from Tall Firs for you to sink your teeth into. From supermarket choices, all the way through to 'conceived-at-ATP babies', this really is an essential guide.

If you are heading to Minehead this weekend, you can check out the stage times by heading here. Info on any other ATP related event can be found by heading to atpfestival.com.


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Here’s what I like to do:

I arrive as early as possible. Because I’m ‘working’ I can arrive pretty early. This week I arrived Wednesday night. Thursday (today) I just re-familiarize myself with the lay of the land, and go to Tesco. Yeah Morrisons is the new rage but is it just this year’s model? I hedge my bets by alternating which one I shop at.

To take home I buy: the largest box of PG Tips they have, and tons of Marmite. I’m pretty serious about stockpiling Marmite: I’m actually about to have some expire on me. I got too nervous that the XO was Limited Edition, so I bought some at Tesco and some at Morrisons.

To enjoy on-site I buy: Irish butter (so good and we can’t get it easily in the States), Stilton (even though we can readily get the hardest-core shit readily in NYC), bread, cured meats, and dried nuts. ou’re gonna need bold flavors, protein, and carbs to keep it going all night for three nights, you guys.

Also on Thursday I plot out exactly what time I will be at what venue for the entire festival. Now again, I am working, so I actually do have to be at certain places at certain times. But still, I think it’s a good idea. I make one sheet of paper with my schedule for all three days, and keep it in my pocket the whole time. You know there will be more music you want to see than you possibly can see, so just make your decisions upfront and alleviate the stress of having to make choices later.

Thursday nights I bowl.

Friday is one of my favorite days. I really just love watching everyone come onto the site. They have great sunglasses and cute outfits on and they are barely able to stand under the weight of the crates of lager they are carrying. I love it! Everyone is SO FUCKING PSYCHED!

Friday night everyone is still so happy to hear music and see friends, I mean it’s goddamn Friday night, that’s pretty great, right? In the eternal struggle for awesomeness of weekend nights, Friday really continues to hold its own against Saturday. Friday has the reckless and carefree spirit of youth. There’s so much more weekend to come, why not misspend Friday night?

Come Saturday morning, you may as well hit the waterpark. Do the water slide where you get flushed like a turd at the end. It’s pretty nuts. Bob Weston endorses it. You might also find that the lager stash in the chalet has taken a harder hit than you expected, so you might be on another run. This is why I go to Tesco first, because by Saturday morning if I’m alternating supermarkets I’d rather walk to the closer one.

What Saturday night has on Friday is the sense of desperation. This is when people worldwide really can sense the impending doom of real life and are gonna make their last fucking stand man, fucking go out in a blaze of glory. Stuff is going to get broken, and people are going to take a chance on romance. I’m really curious how many married couples met at ATP. Are there any confirmed conceived-at-ATP babies?

Although bad as some behavior at ATP may seem to us, try and keep in mind how totally tame the ATP crowd is as compared to say the Butlin’s Disco Weekend crowd ATP weekend is like a vacation for the security staff. I’d really like to see the statistics on serious crimes at comparative weekends.

OH SHIT, but in bad news while researching serious crimes at Butlin’s Minehead I came across this. ATP people remember to watch each other’s backs.

Sunday morning you’re probably going to want to re-evaluate your life, your priorities, the way you treat your friends, stuff like that. You might smell like a humidor that crash-landed on a distillery next door to the medical marijuana dispensary, but don’t let it stop you from going into town. Hit the antique store and turn around and feel like you’ve accomplished something.

Once you’re back onsite, you’ve earned a brew. Fuck it, you know. You may as well just pick up where you left off. When your only tool is getting hammered… Plus now you’re living on borrowed time. Just drive it like it’s stolen, give the Devil his due, etc. You probably took Monday off anyway.