What's your favourite part of the cinema-going experience? Personally, I love the people who can't stay off their phones for two hours, the underage kids whining for more chocolate and the smell of McDonald's thanks to cinemas allowing punters to bring it in. Yes, the above are the reasons I fork out who knows how much for a ticket. OH hang on, that's in upside down world. In the real world, having given nearly £20 for what used to be the joy of seeing a film on the big screen, I expect no phones, no talking, no underage kids and no stinky food.

Speaking of that twenty quid, since when has the cinema been so expensive? Half the time the projection, sound and auditorium are sub-par and to add insult to injury, if you go for 3D you have to buy the glasses and it's rarely worth it. I'm not speaking from experience 3D wise as having sight in only one eye makes it a fruitless viewing. Naturally I resent the lack of 2D screenings at decent times and in decent screens and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Whether it works for you or doesn't, 3D is rarely more than a money making scam which cinemas buy into. Putting 2D screenings at 11am on a Thursday isn't helpful so everyone is forced into paying extra, but if it's becoming the norm then why aren't the prices coming down?

So that's why I'll be frequenting the Prince Charles Cinema from here on. When the email first landed in my inbox I had to check the date to make sure it wasn't April 1st. It said the cinema is launching a new idea to combat antisocial cinema goers. Ninjas. You read that right, the cinema will be unleashing a team of ninjas on audience members who don't comply to basic social niceties. Teaming up with Morphsuits, they will be dressed in onesies that won't be visible in a dark screen and will drop in on phone users and popcorn throwers to put a stop to bad cinema etiquette. Well, at least someone is doing something about this. The last time I was a paying cinema goer I had to endure two hours of rustling McDonald's wrappers because I kid you not the cinema had allowed it to be brought in. The time before that there was the woman sat next to me who texted her way through the film, and the time before that there was an underage boy in the row behind, who whined about wanting more chocolate to the point where I almost turned around to inform him he didn't need any more. I find it hard to believe people don't understand the concept of a public screening and what warrants decent behaviour but here we are. Thank god for the Prince Charles.