These weekly review roundups are shovelled from the turds of the internet's sweaty bowels and then squashed into your timeline of thoughts. Truth is, they are quite a wonderful gage-o-meter. Ever wondered how long The Social Media feast on news stories? Ever wondered how far they nibble and gnaw with irreparable gusto until all that is left is but a decaying carcass of 'that-poor-sod-in-rehab'.

We're here to keep you on your toes! Let us role-play, shall we? You're a zombie from The Walking Dead and all your friends are still feasting on that poor 82-year-old elderly Baker, Josephine, right? Well, we're dangling fresh meat here kids.

But throw away your hacksaw, unlace your ninja boot and crack that handmade wooden shank in half, cowboy, for 'feuds' are now fought, with words. Those fella's back in the 1800s were a slippery bunch weren't they, and the pen is most absolutely, mightier than the sword. What with rappers out-kaney-ing one another and mentors wagging reprimanding fingers quid pro quo. It's an ink-bath out there!

Said carcasses: Kanye in bed with Kimmel (we don't need to run through this, there will be another Kanye blast in, wait, click refresh - just happened), The Miley O'Rebellion and that Drake. Speaking of things we don't really care much for, Gene Simmons recently said that having one or two records is not enough to deem a 'Kurt Cobain' or a 'Amy Winehouse' as 'icons' and Yoko Ono, again, doing our honorary guts out somewhere in Iceland.

Perhaps we should urge them all to acquire leatherbound books that smell of rich mahogany to pen their thoughts into, instead of online? Naah. Because? The Internet.

The King Of Pens

A worthy-word soldier this week, is Ezra from Vampire Weekend. Like a nail, he bit the 'neck', on the 'head' with his unorthodox take on reviewing a current album, by a current artist on The Talkhouse website. Albeit, he accidently may have spilled alcohol all over his insides before writing it - we chortled in real life. "I gotta be honest - I didn't listen to the whole thing," says Koenig during his 1,195-word treatise on "motherfuckers who never loved us". Oh go on then...

The King Of Limbs

Thom Yorke, one of our most favourite eyeballs, err, artists on this planet and his side-project Atoms for Peace, covered Marvin Gaye's 'Got to Give it Up' last night in Meh'ico. This is the song that Robin Thicke has been so rightly accused of blatantly ripping off; I'm no fortune-teller but holding thumbs and toes someone pens Thicke, in the vagina. If you weren't feeling appropriately 'Friday' yet, this'll do the trick. I'm feeling smooth, I'm feeling sexy. Because? The Internet.

The Kings of Streams

The two best streams of the week are unequivocally, The Dismemberment Plan's Uncanney Valley via NPR and The Antler's Darby Cicci's side-project School Of Night via Stereogum. 'Uncanney Valley' is certainly, for lack of a better descriptor, a 'grower' and School of Night is here to soothe your soul and envelop you in beautiful vocals.

The Kings of Hip Indie Rock Hop

During an interview with Rolling Stone, RZA revealed that he wants to put his sandwich on Paul Banks sandwich and make beautiful musical-sandwich-babies. "Paul just has an energy about him. I think if we put our sandwich together it will be great", says RZA. Just keep it kosher boys! As a massive fan of Bank's body of work (Julian Plenti/Interpol/Paul Banks) I'm salivating for anything new.

The Kings of Kidnapping

Speaking of Interpol - this is the kind of news we really should be spreading. Real Life Troubles. Spanish dance-poppers Delorean were reportedly the victims of kidnapping, the on-the-verge, almost-taken, kind of kidnapping called 'Virtual Kidnapping'. It is when someone is psychologically manipulated and extorted in order to make the victim's family believe they are in grave danger. El-taco's had their mobile phones snatched, allowing the VKidnappers to call each band member's family and demand ransoms of 5 million pesos (£240,000 each). The perps were caught - the show will go on and all is fine in the real world again. Because? The Internet.

Shingles Of The Week

Nu-Uh! Say WHA! I dunnit-again pop. This Lazy bird catches the ear-worm. Here are this week's list of tracks/videos that are far from, being the worst.

Cut Copy - 'Free Your Mind'

David Bowie - 'Hello Steve Reich Remix' by James Murphy – Love Is Lost

Museum of Love - 'Monotronic'

Sebastien Tellier - 'L'amour Naissant'

Sivu - 'I Lost Myself'

You can find Lior on Twitter: @LiorPhillips