So, This month has seen the release of Max Payne. As if the critics' slamming comments such as, "This tired, neutered action thriller won't cause you max pain, but you might wince every now and again", haven't been enough, it is also directed by the same man who was responsible for the pointless remake of The Omen and the incompetent casting of Owen Wilson in Behind Enemy Lines, John Moore. "My name is John Moore, not John Less", boasts the man - that's right, "Moore" of the same old fancy special effects that are probably going to draw all the idiots to the cinema - well done. Max Payne is played by a star of the Holllywooden production line, Mark Walhberg, who also starred in the philistines' dreams that are the remakes of The Italian Job and Planet Of The Apes (well, at least he can master Payne's signature constipated look). After having a not so long hard think about why this film doesn't look very entertaining I realised the reason why: it's based on none other than a video game. It's not the first either, over the years there have been insane attempts to take popular video games and adapt them into films, in a clear desperation of hope that all those people who love their games will flock to see the motion pictures. I'm not quite as addicted to the world of virtual reality as I used to be, but even I know that games virtually have no plot at all, they are in fact nothing but: running, fighting, running, fighting, shooting, maybe a bit more running, dying and respawning until whoever's holding the controller gets bored. Now imagine sitting next to the person holding the controller and just watching all of this happen - pretty boring isn't it? - that's what watching a film based on a video game is like. If you're not sure how to spot these films that will take a couple of hours off your life, I have taken the liberty of naming and shaming a few: Lara Croft Tomb Raider was the first one that I fell victim to. "How bad can it be?", I thought. "At the worst it'll be Angelina Jolie running around in a tank top and shorts"......oh but it was so much worse. Fortunately I can't remember much of what happened, just a predictable gun fight scene and a cameo of Rimmer from Red Dwarf. I made another big mistake with this one. I went to see Aliens VS Predator with some mates for a laugh, but it ended in tears. It looks alright at first because it has a couple of references to the old films, like the appearance of the man who made the android, Bishop, in Aliens. Then it gets a bit slow when the cast discover an underground Aztec temple and inevitably get attacked by Predators, while at same time having face huggers jump on them and blah  blah blah blah....you can figure the rest out. Just to rub salt in the wound, a second film was brought out - the cheek! Fortunately I didn't watch it, but after laying eyes on one clip I could see that the duration of the film was a monster stalking and killing off the cast of Hollyoaks. There you have it, in this article I have tried to express my view that making and watching films based on video games is like using the Nintendo Wii Fitness board: time consuming, a waste of money, and utterly, utterly futile as you'll be better off just going for a jog instead.