Film: Friday The 13th Director: Marcus Nispel Runtime: 97 minutes Links: IMDB By Adam Tobias Starting back when I was about 7 years old I would take every chance I got to sneak into the living room when my parents were sleeping and quietly watch the popular slasher films of the late 1970s and ’80s. You name it, I saw it and loved it: “Friday the 13th,” “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” “Halloween,” “Prom Night,” “April Fool’s Day” and “Child’s Play.” I believed a lot of the stuff I saw when I was that age (and in most instances it scared the crap out of me), but the one aspect of the “Friday the 13th” movies that always left me puzzled was the approach the hockey mask-wearing Jason Voorhees took when he pursued his victims. You know what I am talking about, the way he would stiffly walk around all slowly while some screaming teenager would be running away as fast as they could. Sure, Jason would somehow eventually catch up to his prey and leave them pushing up daisies, but I always thought he’d be a lot more terrifying if he didn’t shy away from putting the pedal to the metal. Well, that has all changed in the new “Friday the 13th” film from producers Michael Bay, Andrew Form and Brad Fuller, but Jason’s lightning quick maneuvering is about the only thing that’s worth mentioning in this reboot of the classic horror franchise. Now, don’t take that as me saying “Friday the 13th” is dreadfully horrible because that is not the case at all. But let’s be honest here for a second — there are already 10 sequels to this beloved slasher series, so if you are going to do yet another one you better make sure you bring some fresh ideas to the table. And therein lies the biggest problem with “Friday the 13th”: It’s something we have all seen numerous times before. There’s a strong chance you may find this installment more entertaining if you haven’t watched many of the previous “Friday the 13th” movies, but loyal viewers will probably succumb to boredom on several occasions. I know this is going to sound a little strange since I just got done criticizing the movie for being redundant, but if there is a reason to praise “Friday the 13th” it’s because director Marcus Nispel (2003’s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) and screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (“Freddy vs. Jason”) really stay true to the source material. (That and the film’s amusing 25-minute long prologue) With every “Friday the 13th” you know exactly what you are going to get — a cast made up of no-name actors, gratuitous nudity, gory killings, sex, drugs, alcohol and naive young adults wandering off into the forest — and Nispel, Shannon and Swift’s version is no different. After a brief introduction that quickly gives the backstory of the undead murderer who is famous for terrorizing Camp Crystal Lake, the film catches up with a group of young campers who are searching for a field that is said to be full of unclaimed marijuana plants. As luck would have it for this bunch their destination point is right next to Crystal Lake, and as soon as they set up camp the machete-wielding Jason (actor and stuntman Derek Mears) comes out of the woods and, well, you know what happens next. Six weeks later another batch of oversexed college students visit the area and, wouldn’t you know it, they don’t have much luck facing the masked killing machine either. But after all, this is “Friday the 13th,” and if you’ve learned anything from the 11 flicks that preceded this one, it’s that only one or two people survive by the end of the movie and the rest drop like flies at the hands of Jason. So, the question isn’t really who is going to die, but rather when and how are they going to die. And that’s the part of “Friday the 13th” that is the most disappointing. Nispel, Shannon and Swift had all the tools at their disposal to create death scenes that are both unique and shocking, but there is really only one slaying that is remotely notable, and that involves a topless woman hiding underneath a boat pier. Part of what made the early “Friday the 13th” films so frightening was Harry Manfredini’s chilling “Ki Ki Ki Ma Ma Ma” score and the fact that the filmmakers slowly built up the suspense, making us wait in complete agony. Here Manfredini’s riff is barely used and the action is edited at such a rapid pace there were times when I could hardly tell what was going on, much less be scared. (It also doesn’t help matters that the hunted look exactly like spoiled Abercrombie models who haven’t worked a day in their life. You could care less if they die, and you might even find yourself rooting for Jason.) But I guess when it comes to horror remakes from Bay, Form and Fuller’s production company, Platinum Dunes, letdown is a word you should get used to hearing. While Platinum Dunes’ films — “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” 2005’s “The Amityville Horror,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” and 2007’s “The Hitcher” — aren’t a complete disaster, I doubt you’ll be able to convince me that they are actually necessary. I for one do not get too excited about remakes in general (to me it just signifies that some in Hollywood are getting lazy and running out of ideas), which is why it pains me to say Platinum Dunes is in the process of looking to put its own spin on “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” “Rosemary’s Baby” and Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.” Just the mere thought of that is scarier than anything you will see in the latest offering of “Friday the 13th.” Rating: 5/10