Written by: Sam Bee and I The Geeks Guide To: Sci-Fi Film If you don’t know what the Numa Numa dance is, can’t understand what all your base are belong to us means or haven’t been played off by keyboard cat, then close down your browser, turn off your wireless adapter and go AFK ASAP because this article isn’t for you. Welcome to a realm inhabited by a special sort of human, a hybrid between man and modem, where a Boba Fett action figure will not save you from the utter onslaught of geekdom. This is safe refuge my friend, where you can bask in the awkward glory that is the Geek's Guide to Cinema. This our unique rating system, created by the Matrix as a way to quantify what chicken tastes like. WTF: A very brief synopsis of the movie. Leet EQ: What makes this film ideal for geeks? OK 4 N00bs? If you were a newcomer to this film and, indeed, this whole sub genre, how might it go down? Facebook Quotage: Memorable dialogue to keep stored in your brain box. Today’s Topic: The Sci-Fi Film (aka LukeIamyourfatherkthx) Let’s face it, compiling a favourites list of geeky sci-fi films is near as an impossible task as verbally destroying a forum troll without a thesaurus. But please, do not take this as an invitation to flame us for our choices. We aren’t fire-retardant. Instead, enjoy and add to what’s here. So what makes a good science fiction film? The movies on our list have sparked numerous homages, been the subject of parody and originated lines that are universally recognised, if only for their campness. Plus, we’ve selected several films that contain a smattering of social commentary, because we like movies that attempt to predict the way the world is going... even if it is towards a drab dystopian world where all hope has been abandoned and robots are king. It takes a modicum of intelligence, a dash of mild madness and a sizeable helping of weird and wonderful to make a good sci-fi movie. Within this article you will find reviews of some of our favourite films that inhabit this gigantic genre. Now is the time to get your geek on, enter the wormhole, and let slip the dogs and cats of war! 2001: A Space Odyssey WTF: Man’s place in the universe is called into question when a mysterious alien artefact is dug up on the Moon. Leet EQ: Dun....dun......dun....DUN DUN dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun...yeah that’s simply awesome. Sorry, where were we? Oh yes. 2001 is a timeless work that’ll make any good geek grin in glee. There’s a thoroughly creepy computer, predictions of technological advances that are only just coming to pass, a heavy dose of philosophy and stunning outer space scenes. Brilliant stuff! OK 4 N00bs? Because the film never really relies on dialogue or action to set the tone, newbies might find it a little hard going to begin with. Facebook Quotage: ‘Open the pod bay doors, HAL’ Back to the Future Part II WTF: Marty McFly continues his adventures in time, now jumping forward to 2015, only to set in motion a chain of events that radically alter the timeline... Leet EQ: If you don’t want to see a film depicting a bleak and depressing future, then this could be just what you’re looking for. Back to the Future Part II does its best to remain upbeat about where the human race is headed, even if it does predict the popularity of ties made of cellophane. It’s a cheery, tongue-in cheek exploration into the wonderful world of temporal mechanics, making it a terrifically geeky film. OK 4 N00bs? Whilst seeing the first film is highly advisable, it won’t overload a newbie’s flux capacitor. (Translation: it’s relatively easy viewing!) Facebook Quotage: ‘Time-travelling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women.’ Close Encounters of the Third Kind WTF: Average joe, Roy Neary, has a close encounter with a UFO and is drawn to uncovering the secrets behind multiple strange and inexplicable happenings occurring across over the world. Leet EQ: We felt had to include a film about alien visitation and because E.T. is a little too soppy for us, we instead chose to highlight the gloriousness that is Close Encounters. It has a special sort of magic that’ll make a geek giggle in delight, featuring alien abductions, telepathic communication and people obsessively shaping mash potato. Ultimately, it’s about extraterrestrials with rhythm. First contact has never been so funky! OK 4 N00bs? Definitely enjoyable regardless of geekage. Do take a look, even if it is just for the five tones. Facebook Quotage: ‘Dun dun dun dun dunnnn’ (kudos to anyone who sung that correctly first time) Soylent Green WTF: In the near future, mankind struggles under the burden of overpopulation and food shortages, with many relying on the mysterious Soylent Corporation for survival. Leet EQ: It’s a great film about a dystopian future, just the sort we geeks adore.  In our opinion, it is one of the best proponents of this popular sci-fi premise, ranking it amongst other classics such as Blade Runner. Soylent Green is filled with ideas and themes that have been explored by numerous other films, but are neatly drawn together here into one excellent story. With a great cast and awesome ending, it is understatedly epic.  Mmm, we love ourselves some oxymorons. OK 4 N00bs? It’s a movie that might take some patience and careful viewing, but its strong plot and careful characterisations will get a newbie hooked. Facebook Quotage: There’s only one line that has a right to go here, but we’ll omit it in the interest of avoiding serious spoilers! Starship Troopers WTF: A group of friends sign up for Earth’s military, which is currently embroiled in long-term conflict against an enemy known as ‘the Bugs’. Leet EQ: Despite being pretty and shiny the outside, Starship Troopers serves to cleverly parody action and war films whilst simultaneously making broader, more serious political statements about violence and conflict. It is a multi-faceted film that can be enjoyed on many levels and, as such, makes a great movie for geeks. It has a number of subtle nods to other works (and not necessarily science-fiction), that can only be fully appreciated after repeat viewings. OH and Michael Ironside is in it! If that doesn’t make it geeky we don’t know what does... OK 4 N00bs? We’d say so, it moves at a good pace and has themes that can be enjoyed by many. Facebook Quotage: ‘MEDIC!’ Star Wars: A New Hope (Han Shot First!) WTF: Follows the journey of young farmhand Luke Skywalker as he learns the ways of the Force and joins the Rebel Alliance in their fight against the evil Empire. Leet EQ: Dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnn DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN...yes that’s quite enough of that. Other than having just as epic a theme tune as 2001, Star Wars combines many geeky desires and presents them in a perfect package. Yes, we’d all like to move stuff with our minds, wield weaponry with deadly efficiently and espouse awesome lines whilst wearing a helmet and cape. Plus what geek doesn’t want to engage in spectacular space battles, be solely responsible for blowing up a gigantic space-station and save a damsel in distress? None we tell you, none! OK 4 N00bs? Who hasn’t seen Star Wars?! No seriously, who hasn’t? We’ll personally come over to their house and sit with them whilst they watch it. No, they have no choice! Facebook Quotage: ‘I find your lack of faith disturbing’ WarGames WTF: A young and talent computer hacker called David Lightman accidently hacks into a US military computer, triggering a nuclear war simulation that has serious real world consequences... Leet EQ: A computer geek hacking into a military supercomputer?! How could this not be on our list? Let’s be honest, even though this is a bit of a relic, it still has mass appeal. It’s got the lingo, the technology, a misunderstood central character, which all adds up to make a film that we consider to be a cornerstone of the geeky sci-fi genre. We want to be able to hack like David, even if it does mean almost causing a nuclear Armageddon... OK 4 N00bs? It’s highly entertaining and not too difficult to get into, but it helps to REALLY like computers. You know, in that special way... Facebook Quotage: ‘What you see on these screens up here is fantasy; a computer enhanced hallucination!’ Please add to this criminally short list of films, we beg you! Next Episode....: Sam Bee and I