In just two years' time, there will be no more Glastonbury. The world's most renowned festival will be moved to a new site and be given a new name. The Variety Bazaar will take Glastonbury's place in 2019 when it ventures to a site "100 miles away, towards the Midlands," to protect the land. The news was confirmed by festival organizer Michael Eavis on Glastobury FM.

"That's a good name don’t you think? I've been a risk taker all my life. In 47 years of taking risks, so far, touch wood, I haven’t come unstuck. This might be one risk too far, I don’t know," he said.

"It's half way to the Midlands from here and there’s only one landowner. I’ve got 22 landowners where I am now. I just wonder whether the next generation will want to negotiate with so many people. It’s a very difficult job to hold it together."

Glastonbury 2017 will be held at the usual Pilton, Somerset, with Radiohead as the headliners, before taking a year off in 2018.

Update: Apparently this isn't the case at all. Sorry.