We're going to approach Jack White's column grabbing week by inserting as many White Stripes/White song titles (or references) as possible into this double news story. See how many you can spot.

It seems Mr. White wasn't too impressed with his ex-wife's (Karen Elson) allegations that he'd been harassing her, as he's filed a countermotion in a Nashville court as he "does not want to be portrayed as something he is not, violent toward his wife and children." The original restraining order stated: "Wife fears for her and the children's safety as a result of this harassment...This pattern of husband's bullying wife into submission was a contributing factor in the demise of their marriage."

It's unlikely this blunderbuss of a story will blow over soon, as Elson wants White to have a psychiatric examination. It might take a seven nation army to make that happen though, as the countermotion suggests that up until recently Elson considered him a good father. There's definitely some missing pieces to this puzzle. Perhaps the both of them just need one more cup of coffee before they break down?

So where does White go from here? Well, obviously having TMZ share details regarding your hatred of the Black Keys' Dan Auerbach is a great place to start.

A leaked email suggests White doesn't like the thought of his kids going to the same school as Dan Auerbach's kids.

"My concern with Auerbach is because I don't want the kids involved in any of that crap. You aren’t thinking ahead. That's a possible twelve fucking years I'm going to have to be sitting in kids chairs next to that asshole with other people trying to lump us in together. He gets yet another free reign to follow me around and copy me and push himself into my world."

A case of 'there's no home for you here'? Or perhaps a case of Auerbach slowly turning into White? Either way, they'll both by weeping themselves to sleep to tonight if this saga continues.