As you leave the house, two children escalate insults as they walk past, it barely registers. In the car on the way into work, another driver pulls alongside you all red faced gesticulations, you look straight ahead and drive on. At lunch, an elderly couple at an adjacent table argue about what it means to be vegan, you chew your flesh and stare out of the window. As you try to work, the banter of two lads goes awry outside the office, you hear them yell abuse at each other until you turn up the stereo and drown them out. Looking into your screen, two people you've never met briefly mock each other and you'll never guess what happened next. It's hilarious, it's so weird, honestly you don't want to be the only one not to know about this; hurriedly pasted URL's are generating minuscule amounts of revenue for content farmers. Adverts are accidentally clicked on mobiles, whole page pop ups hide their little crosses, video clips burst out between paragraphs of hyperbole. Wheat, oilseed rape, barley, we leave the field over the back for hay because the soil won't let anything else grow. We do what we can with what we have, here are your Singles of the week:


The Range - 'Copper Wire'

I'm always blown away by the audacity of it, approaching a cold box full of electronic bits and pieces with the intention of making it emote, but as the layers of this song build to reach their peak it does precisely that. The voice becomes background to the electronic noise, the words are secondary to the sound, the words are not propelling the emotion. The sheer fucking audacity of it. The album comes out tomorrow.


Whitney - 'Golden Days'

There is a silent despair that accompanies a bonfire in the woods. I mean you may think that it's a really great idea and sure your Instagram is going to look better for it, but honestly, it's not going to be the experience you want it to be. For starters, you are not Ray Mears, so even lighting that fire is going to be a pain. You're going to end up with weird sooty shit on your hands with nowhere to clean them, so if you meet the girl of your dreams for the final film scene, you will look grim. Even if you do wash them, that shit gets under your nails, it won't budge, you'll be embarrassing yourself with anxiety because you've clearly never washed. More than that, you sat in the dirt of the forest floor so those nice jeans have a round brown stain that shows exactly how much butt you use to sit on. Your Scandinavian design plaid shirt is going to stink of smoke, and not that romantic rustic woodsmoke either, it'll be that couldn't-get-the-fire-lit diesel musk of desperation. Not a great look, even worse than your clothes, it'll be on your face. You'll just have to learn to live with it because it's not getting cleaned, not tonight, not until this is over. In the meantime you're covered in outdoors, you can only smell your stink and feel the grime in your pores, but you're going to have talk to some folks like it doesn't matter. You're going to have to pretend that you're having a really great time, that none of this bothers you, because you're having a bonfire in the woods and this is this best night of your young and beautiful life. Sometimes life is not all roses, sometimes it's the shit they are buried in.


Dreamcrusher - 'Codeine Eyes'

Play this one loud and last it out. You will feel better for it. Call it a detox for your existence.


Dalindèo - 'Hips and Curves'

This is what you need. A bit more swing and a bit less of yourself. Wait until you hear how the drums pan.


Sumac - 'Rigid Man'

After three-and-a-half minutes of looming metal bastard this song launches into the most ridiculous guitar solo I've heard in ages, which kills it, but not dead.


RM Hubbert with Kathryn Joseph - 'The Dog'

Kathryn Joseph is my absolute favourite singer at the moment, this collaboration with RM Hubbert plays to her strengths and I am powerless to it, she has one of the best voices this little island has to offer.



Anyway, here's a spotify playlist with as many songs from this year as i could find on there because I know you're tired of my shit. I promise to give this column all of the care and attention that something that is outdated and overlooked in a couple of days deserves. You can submit your music to The 405 by using your initiative and clicking around the site, although I will unsubscribe from your mailing list. Have a great day.