A needlessly sardonic view on what's been happening in the technology world over the last few days, and more importantly, who's been screwing up...


Lovers of big sweaty buff men and giant yellow birds with a giant ass rejoice - Google, which aims to be the technology representation of a specialist fetish provider has launched it's long-rumoured channel subscription model via YouTube showing only things that YOU a few people want to watch.

Aside from the fairly popular Ultimate Fighting Champion the choice is limited. Very limited.

So far the line-up looks something like this: Sesame Street, Ultimate Fighting Champion, JusticeCentral.TV, PGA Digital Golf Academy, and a channel for the educational TV show Franklin.

At least when Netflix launched in 2012 they had full seasons of The Only Way Is Essex.

But really - what is with this shocking lack of investment? Google are a billion-dollar company and they're leading a huge launch with Big Bird? A business of this size should never lead with a soft launch - for the revenue they make, I want to see Hillary Clinton's future presidential assassination in full HD with Beyonce singing live at the half-time show. And so help me god, Google, if Will-I-Am shows up I will punch you in the damn face.

No, fuck YOU, Google. And your bird.


The content is available on computers, smartphones, tablets, and TVs. Google has also stated that "soon you'll be able to subscribe to them from more devices." Like the Amazon hologram smartphone perhaps?

Now really, is this going to be a thing? Because we all know what we do on our smartphones. YouPorn has a mobile site for a reason. And what about all the minutes we've lost trawling past lovers' pics on Facebook, Wikipedoeing strange diseases. What if we accidentally open up one of these things in full reveal, holographic form for everyone to see? Your new wife/husband is going to think you haven't got over that ex-girl/boyfriend or that we have that disease which JUST ISN'T TRUE, ALRIGHT?

Onto the world of photography - researchers have quizzed a range of people with varying degrees of blindness about what they find hardest about taking snaps.

Shockingly, the answer isn't 'seeing them'.

Apparently, one of the answers was "framing the shot."

Presumably, because they couldn't see the shot.

Shut up, they're my eyes, alright?


However, blind photographers everywhere, get up on those high mountains high mountains and capture those views, because there is a new app! With... face detection?

Oh... I guess now even blind photographers can be as lazy at taking pictures as the rest of us.

By Andy Price (Andyy_P)


PS. I think there's a blocked toilet on the International Space Station, someone call a plumber.