That’s right, she’s back and she’s fucking irate. And why I hear you cry? What do you have to feel so angry about on this fine September evening? Twilight, that’s what. Wipe off those seats ladies, it’s Edward Cullen time. God I am so sick of this movie already and it’s not even out yet. The latest trailer for upcoming Twilight: New Moon is out, and surprisingly it’s an improvement on the last one. A little more action and less Bella-gets-a-paper-cut-and-Edward-bails-shock. Still not convinced about the CG lycanthropes though, and must they all be shirtless? Take a gander: WOLVERINES! Jeffrey Dean Morgan, last seen setting fire to Vietcong as antihero The Comedian in Watchmen, is in talks to star in the remake of 1984 cult classic Red Dawn. Oh yes, the movie that saw teenagers fend off the approaching Soviet menace in an alternative 80s timeline and starred the late Patrick “the mullet” Swayze and Lea “Marty McFly’s Mom was as good as it got” Thomson. Morgan’s set to play a U.S Special Forces team leader who finds the still-to-be-cast group of young uns behind enemy lines. Expect this grand opus September 2010. Funtimes eh? Director Sam Mendes has spoken out about his adaptation of comic book Preacher. Mendes has reportedly seen the script and has been singing its praises. For the uninitiated, Preacher (created by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon) is the story of Texas priest Jesse Custer, a man who is possessed by a morally ambiguous supernatural being called Genesis in an accident which kills his entire congregation. Custer then wanders the US looking to pick a fight with the Almighty. Hard as nails mofo. Mendes is due to make the movie after he’s finished promoting latest flick Away We Go and possibly his planned adaptation of Middlemarch. Get on with it already Sam, we need more decent comic flicks like Preacher. Christ they’re already remaking (sorry, rebooting) Fantastic Four because those movies sucked so hard. Green Hornet seems beset with problems. It’s been continually put back, its original director Stephen Chow became a sidekick then left the project entirely and now Nicolas Cage has reportedly detached himself as the villain. But here’s some news that should make you sit up straight. Christoph Waltz has joined the cast as the masked superhero's nemesis. If you don’t recognise that name (and you will round early March next year, my first tip of the awards season) Waltz was last spotted by cinema goers sporting a swastika carved into his forehead by one Mr Brad Pitt. The Austrian actor gave a mesmerising performance as Colonel Landa, aka The Jew Hunter, in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds. The man knows how to play a good villain. Fine piece of casting news. And now it's time for... Krystal’s pick for Asshole of the Month New thing, trying it out. I hate to end with a rant. Okay that's bollocks, but I don't want to give the impression that I'm a misanthropic bitch who hates everything on sight. I like a lot of things. Puppies, vinyl, survival horror video games. One thing I hate though is seeing treasured childhood memories raped by the word "remake". Now Robert Zemeckis has given us some gems in his 30 year career: Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, hell even the sentimental but worthy Forrest Gump. But the man also gave us Contact and Polar Express. Let's not lose sight of that. He's been stuck in performance capture land ever since, giving us the meh Beowulf and the upcoming A Christmas Carol. But last month he crossed a line. Fresh from acquiring Marvel and scaring fanboys across the globe with the prospect of cameos from Scrooge McDuck in all future Marvel universe movies, Disney has finally confirmed last month’s speculation that the director is to helm a motion capture 3D remake of Yellow Submarine, the 1968 animated feature based around the music of The Beatles. The film was an unashamedly barmy psychedelic affair that, as the daughter of a Beatles nutcase, I watched and adored as a child. With remarkable art direction and character design from illustrator Heinz Edelmann, fantastic voice performances (although not from the actual Beatles) particularly from the late great Dick "ooo, you are awful" Emery (ask your Dad) and a soundtrack crammed full of classics, the movie has always had a special place in my heart. Beatles fan or no, it's a slice of the 60s. Add to the mix the news that part of the deal currently in negotiation includes a musical and you can probably tell from whence my bitterness comes. Both seem like a desperate attempt to jump on that which is popular (3D thanks to Jim Cameron and musicals thanks to Mamma smegging Mia) and make a few bucks. Long live 2D I say, and down with this sort of thing. Rant over. For now. What’s that? Paul W. S. Anderson is doing The Three Musketeers? In 3D? Right, that is it. Where's my pistol?! The madness ends now. I’m working on a little piece entitled “movies that made me pray for death” and I want to hear from you. Tell us some of your most hated, reviled and despised movies. Email your suggestions to or leave your comments below. You can also follow the debate on Twitter, just click on or DM me at