If Jedward isn't overwhelming proof that ridiculous compound words ought not to be plucked from thin air, used in everyday parlance and accepted by society, I don't know what is. Par exemple, I've no problems with the Catholic faith, nor with popular guitar music originating from 1950's America; but meld 'Christian' and 'Rock' and I'm likely to manifest the form of Satan before your very eyes. It's not purely a beef I've got with Jesus - the same applies to other faith-music hybrids, such as Muslim 'n' Bass and Hindie. Not big, not clever.

But if it's not the evangelists – literally – banging their drum, it's the bloody hipsters spawning newer, ever more obscure and underground strains of aural art. The last decade has seen rise to Witchcore, Chillwave and Reggaeton to name but a few, constantly slipping in and out of fashion. So to prove to you, our devoted reader - as well as to ourselves for posterior backslapping - we've compiled a list of the sickest/hottest/coolest/radest/illest (delete as appropriate) new genres for your delectation.

Clitchcore

Citing Riot Grrrl, Pussy Riot and the Kaiser Chiefs' 'I Predict a Riot' as the 3 main influences on Clitchcore, political activist, feminist, artist and movement leader Anja Buski further explains that Clitchcore is "an expression of womanhood, a reclaiming of the primordial primal scream." This female only electro-noise crusade stemmed from an initial piece of Buski's performance art in 2011 in her home town of Belovodskoye, Kyrgyzstan and rapidly spread to become an underground phenomenon. Belovodskoye, also the birthplace to heavyweight boxers the Klitschko brothers, has resulted in the sound being affectionately nicknamed 'Klitschkore' by fans.

Nototune

Sometimes referred to as 'Wubbytron', or simply 'Wubby', Nototune crosses heavy dub and bass music with the recording methods of Lo-Fi. The name is derived from Quelle Dommage's now infamous hipster T-shirt: 'Say No to Autotune'. The non-commercial aspect of Nototune is key. Many artists are thought to play sets disguised in balaclava's or with elaborate costume facial hair to protect their identity as they are well known pop stars or music producers. Ethical Japanese act - and scene darlings - Nototuna look set to unleash their bassy scuzz upon us early next year and their EP 'No Fish: No Fuss' has already got bloggers, indie labels and pirate radio shows champing at the bit.

Pubstep

Born, Lazarus like, from the ashes of its cannibalistic predecessor, Dubstep, this back to basics movement is one for the purists. Summoning the spirit of Pubrock's rejection of 70's Glam and all the frilly trimmings, Pubstep apes the ethos: No mainstream extravagance, no Britney, no Internet Explorer soundtrack.

Pubstep hits harder, faster and gnarlier than all before it. 140BPM was deemed too slow. Pubstep notches it up to an incredible 143 BPM! WOWZA! Small Pubstep nights have been popping up in the quiet backrooms of the cities' bars and suburban watering holes with locals seeking a true getaway from the generic, repetitive wobble, all in the comfort of their nearest tavern.

24 Hour Garage

An epic revision in the grandest sense, 24Hour Garage takes aspects of Speed Garage, 2-Step and Opera to create vastly long, ethereal tracks. Thought to be a clever way of recouping PRS money, it is considered the lengthier the 24 Hour Garage songs, the better. Crowd pleasers such as 'Forecourt Foreplay' and 'Pay at the Pump' are rumoured to be in excess of 8 hours long and reports are that devoted fans lap it up with gusto. All night pop-up raves have been spotted in disused petrol stations in Greenwich, Morecambe and Falkirk and key players on the scene such as Empty Tank, DJ Munchies and Pack of Johnnies and Some Wet Wipes are tipped for stardom in 2013.

Country House

No Albarn & Co. in sight, thankfully, as Country House brings together soulful, groove laden Chicago House with the trebly, redneck whine only Country music can provide. “The cure to musical apartheid” many are calling it; "an unexpected crossing of the divide." It's the juxtaposition that makes this such a burgeoning prospect, attracting a diverse set of diehard fans. An acquired taste though, detractors refer to it somewhat disdainfully as "Cuntry House," presumably as they just don't 'get it'.