Once again Beulah Maud Devaney is taking a Vommercial Break to berate the best and worst adverts on TV. Categories are heavily prejudiced and nominations are welcome.

If you'd like to send us your thoughts/nominations, please email us at hello@thefourohfive.com. Happy viewing.


Most Annoying: Nurofen - Cold and Flu Range [view]
A group of hard working white people are shown going to work, despite having the sniffles. There's a vet visiting a horse (who presumably, unlike him, doesn't have access to Nurofen), there's a woman talking to some men and smiling (two activities which make up 90% of the ad-dwelling female skillset), there's a man giving a lecture on some steps outside a building. It ends with "Nurofen: for lives bigger than pain".

"For lives bigger than pain", what? "Lives bigger than pain"? Fuck you Nurofen. Sorry hard working Vets and stair orators, and people battling into work with colds every day, but I've been laid up with asthma for two weeks because too many people on the Victoria line are too fucking honourably rising above pain to either acknowledge that they are contagious and need to stay at home or wear a snorkel mask to work. People like Nurofen are the reason I have no skin left on my upper lip and a bag of empty inhalers. No one's life is bigger than pain and unless you're a fireman or a rescuer of homeless owls nothing you do is important enough to force Nurofen on an innocent horse.

Most Confusing: Axa - Jewelry Replacement [view]
A couple have lots of sepia tinted fun and good times and happy memories and along the way they picked up matching rings which they treasure and get upset over losing but which are also, literally, as obnoxious as that misplaced "literally" 5 words ago. They are horrible. They look like eyes, but eyes with all the blood on the outside.

I just... I'm not mad. I just don't understand. Why is this ring so ugly? Why? It's like the mod episode of Don't Tell The Bride where the groom's mission just seemed to be to replace every beautiful moment of the day with ugly.

Longest Ongoing Feud With Reality: Nescafe - Nespresso [view]
George Clooney walks into one of those exclusive rooftop coffee bars that we're all so familiar with. Full of models drinking black coffee out of see-through cups, like prohibition but the banned substance is reality. Clooney offers to replenish a woman's coffee, she agrees and then as he's walking to the bar she steals his coffee and shouts that George Clooney is in the building. Everyone flocks to Clooney, thereby stopping him from getting her yet more delicious coffee.

Oh Nescafe, rewriting truths and spurning reality like a Mens Rights campaigner at a period conference. First having clean drinking water isn't a human right and now there's the idea that any woman would pick gravel flavoured petrol tank shavings over Mr Clooney. It's nearly Christmas and the time is ripe for magic and elf-motivated-mayhem but there are some fantasies that need to be suppressed

.

Best Advert: Subway - The Hunger Games [view] Because there was always going to be a Subway advert and at least this includes Jennifer Lawrence's face. If there's one thing that dry heaving over endless Morrisons adverts has taught me, it's that sometimes it's about the lesser of two evils. J-Law's face next to a Subway, or not J-Law's face and still a Sunway. Also this is mint.