Once a week Beulah Maud Devaney will be taking a Vommercial Break to berate the best and worst adverts on TV. Categories are heavily prejudiced and nominations are welcome.

If you'd like to send us your thoughts/nominations, please email us at hello@thefourohfive.com.

Happy viewing.



Best Music - Homeland Series 3 (Sacrilege by Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

The advert features clips of Homeland, the music is spot on, Damian Lewis is still ginger and you'll probably enjoy this advert more than the entire series.


Crassest Racial Stereotype - Cadburys

It's a Japanese game show set in a corner shop. The host is a hysterical old guy, screaming at the contestants/customers as they try to win a gold bar version of their favourite chocolate bar. Great. He gets about three w's into the word "gold", all the contestants look suitably awkward and that's the only Japanese person who's likely to feature on the nation's screens all night.

Can we now please stop breathing into a bag over Miley Cyrus twerking and start looking at the brand which is churning out this offensive pile of wank? Yes the Japanese have weird gameshows, no you will not be able to recreate the surreal mayhem of Takeshi's Castle in a 30 second slot between Emmerdale and Coronation Street - whoever necked a load of WKD and Don Drappered this ad into being needs a better set of references and a sharp gold bar to the back of the head.


Best Ad - Wuaki.tv

This is really lovely to look at as it's mainly comprised of footage of Olympic high jumpers and is a reverse retelling of how Dick Fosbury changed the sport forever by going over the bar backwards. Then Wuaki.tv proceeds to equate that achievement with starting a new "online video service" which isn't as good as Netflix and describes itself as an "online video service". This is technically in line for the Most Annoying ad this week as well but the high jump footage is great, Dick Fosbury seems like a nice enough chap and there's something endearing about the sheer pomposity of Wuaki.tv's claims.


Biggest Creepshow - Dove

Two hands reach down and settle a series of pink paper dolls onto blocks of soap. The blocks of soap that aren't Dove eat away at the little dolls while Dove leaves it's own little doll in tact. Yes. Yes, rest little dolls. Feel the air drift past your little faces as you are lowered towards the innocuous bars of soap. Close your little eyes and pray your little prayers that your friends are being lowered towards the slabs of acid and that you are destined for the kind, welcoming arms of old uncle Dove.

It was only a matter of time before the endemic misogyny of the beauty industry started drawing inspiration from the Saw franchise. I'm just surprised that it's begun with an elaborate torture sequence featuring a bar of soap instead of with the whitening creams Dove's parent company Unilever is currently pumping out for the Indian market.


Most Meh - McDonalds

So yeah. A man and a woman walk along separate streets, they seem to be walking towards each other, are they going to meet? No a door opens in his face, smashing his laptop, he goes for a McDonalds to cheer himself up.

Any other company would be be trying to set up a new pair of nation's favourite coffee drinkers, but it's McDonalds, so they just want you to guzzle down some cow parts like true lads while delicately nibbling on their organic mayo dip and saucily deep-throating a litre of chocolate milkshake and whatever other demographic they're currently on the look out for.