Label: Deathbomb Arc Records Release date: 06/04/10 Official website As much as I love Captain Ahab, and as much fun as they are live (their shows at The Smell are always a huge event and amazing), sometimes the best way to describe them is “fucking bizarre.” In their own way, they completely manage to make awful styles amazing and stay original. Take the title of their latest LP, The End Of Irony - it’s one giant humorous nod, and each song incorporates various styles and jokes to make a new take on neoclassical. “I am a man. I am the oldest man alive. I have been alive forever…You may see me on the street…,” begins the epic show of bravado, ‘I Don’t Have A Dick,’ a song that encapsulates the entire album’s ethos. It’s so much humor that it mars the album. The main problem with this album is the fact that the entire album is one giant joke, enough to think that it’s talking down to you. Each song’s exploration of various scatological topics seems to just reflect some awful Silver Lake zeitgeist. The Smell’s hegemony has made sure that this band will be popular with various hipsters and other faux circles of styles that ultimately make you seem pedantic. Each song’s grating presence makes you want to die a quick death, lest you get too much poorly done jumpstyle or wannabe gabber. Ultimately it’s a fatiguing listen that leaves the listener lost in a sea of non-potable water, completely parched from being days long dehydrated. After hearing this, you want to look for some real music or some real art in the basest manner. Everything tastes foul and sounds worse. Their song titles become all too fitting – ‘Kill Me.’ ‘The Loneliest Man’ is the listener, begging to be done even if, ‘With My Own Two Hands.’ Hopefully I can recover quickly so I can continue to write and live. I’m afraid, though, because that album was so terrible. I recant all my affection for the band. Buy copies of this album just to destroy them. Of course, this entire review has been a joke. This is not a review. Rating 8.7/10