Director:Tommy Wirkola Release Date: 31 August Review by Paul Metcalf The only way to start this review is to say Dead Snow is stupid. It’s stupid on so many levels that it’s annoying. The premise of the movie has so much potential and yet it turns out just bland and badly made. Maybe it’s the actors, maybe it’s the obviously huge holes in the plot but this movie just had me wondering what it could have been. This is the type of movie that Scream can only be blamed for. A group of medical students go on a skiing vacation in an old cabin in the middle of nowhere and of course in the horror genre this is nothing new. If you have a holiday in a cabin in the woods you are just asking for trouble. Even the students realise this as they reference Evil Dead as a movie about what happens in cabins in the middle of the woods. Yes, this is one of those “self aware” horror movies that is SO funny because they know horror movies, so cool right? Not. The problem is it’s trying too hard to be funny; it’s trying so hard that you may find yourself laughing at times but still hoping that the movie could provide better. It wants to be more, you can just feel it. It’s the type of movie that you can just feel is made by a horror movie fan who just wants to make the best horror ever. They want to pay homage to just about every horror movie out there and make it SO cool yet they only succeed in making a mildly amusing but fun movie but flawed. The flaws are evident in the basis for the Nazi Zombies. Yes, Nazi Zombies. Does that sound totally badass to you? It did to me. We first get to see them in the opening section of the movie; A woman is being chased through the woods but at first we can’t see who the assailants are. After a cheap scare we get to see the zombie and he looks kind of cool. When they next appear something struck me straight away. Since when do zombies need to use knives? They can literally rip you apart with their teeth, why knives? I forgave that issue because these zombies were soldiers so that’s probably the excuse for the knife thing. Then after a few zombie attacks I noticed something else. These zombies are stupid, not mindless like you would expect a zombie to be but farcically dumb. This is no Shaun of the Dead or Braindead. This is just badly thought out zombies. The zombie back story is another failure. It’s historical legend that Hitler was interested in the occult and that the SS were investigating ways of using the occult to win World War 2. So why not include this fact in the story? Instead we get a story that would make Uwe Boll proud ( What have I told you about invoking the name of the evil one Paul? - KS). Nazi’s try stealing gold from a local village, the villagers fight back and the soldiers escape into the mountains. The very same mountains the cabin is built on of course, and they were never seen again, until now. I would say that the gore is the best part of this movie, because it’s full of it. From ripping off heads, pulling out intestines and even to people cutting off their own arms with chainsaws this movie has it all. I would like to ask the makers why they seem to have a fetish for intestine mutilation though; it seemed people kept on having their intestines just pop out even for no reason at all. It is a sign of a poor movie when you have to question how the hell the intestines are sticking out from a guy’s stomach. At least give the watcher a reason for this happening. For all the failures this movie had I do think it has it’s own charm. If you just want a no brainer gore fest then this movie is probably for you. I know I’ll be re-watching it and I’m sure it’ll get better with repeat viewings. I’ll be forever yelling at the TV “yes! Rip his head off!” or being annoyed because the movies gone for another intestines gag. I don’t care about the characters because they are so paper thin that as a watcher we don’t have the time to actually care about them. At least it has one thing going for it, it’s not a remake. Rating: 4/10