Label: Rhino Records Release Date: Out Now Website: Rhino Records have helpfully released a love-themed compilation for all your last-minute Valentine needs. In more forgiving times, it might have sat under pink banners in Woolworths windows, alongside Now! That’s What I Call Pick N Mix, but instead it’s available across the internet as a CD or, confusingly for a romantic gift, as a download. The exclusive Nickleback track is the only incentive to buy this compilation properly. Apparently lewd enough to be withdrawn from circulation by the band’s own marketing people, ‘Something In Your Mouth’s snarl about perving over a thumb-sucking strumpet in a club is a strong enough stomping rock track to entice the dad rockers and their spouses to pay full whack. The lyrics strongly suggest that five years after Ian Winwood accidentally declared war on the band, Chad Kroeger is still a cunt. Hey ho. The rest of the CD is filled with various reissues, some from albums released up to six years ago, many already featured on free cover-mount compilations. On the other hand mix CDs, particularly ones released around a primary gifting period, aren’t intended to provide an exciting new musical package, and if crammed with enough quality singles can be an almost acceptable gift. As a gift, what does this mix say to the lucky recipient? Loosely connected by an idea that Valentine’s Day should be met with loud guitars, the tracks swing from chest-beating metalcore (Atreyu) through to paper-thin emotronica (Kill Hannah, Kids in Glass Houses, Cobra Starship, etc) to strung-out bawling (Amanda Palmer). Each song mentions love in passing (“My name is Casanova, I am basically a man”, thanks, Gallows), but there’s too much mawkish wallowing in some of the heartbreak songs to be a full-on rock out, too much talk of cock-sucking to weave a romantic mood in the background of your special night. Sloppy adenoidal pawing flounders when up against the greats of Valentine’s Day. Stick with Lionel Richie, Barry White, or Slayer and red wine if you’re single and angry, to survive the day in one piece. There are a handful of classic songs here that could make this worthwhile if your music collection is currently lacking – a bit of Biffy Clyro never goes amiss, and the inclusion of Billy Talent might be a fresh treat for love-struck teenagers too young for its release in 2003 (this makes me feel old too). Whether the hair rockers drawn in by Nickelback will stick around for the likes of ‘Lips Like Morphine’ puts the whole point of this CD in doubt. If you’re intent on stuffing a shoddily wrapped compilation CD down a loved one’s throat this Saturday, please put your back into it and make it better than this confused sales ploy. Or get them chocolates. 1. Nickelback - Something In Your Mouth 2. Paramore - Misery Business 3. Slipknot - Dead Memories 4. Atreyu – Doomsday 5. Gallows - Orchestra Of Wolves 6. Serj Tankian - Empty Walls * 7. Kill Hannah – Lips Like Morphine 8. Elliot Minor - Jessica 9. Panic At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies 10. Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure 11. Simple Plan - Your Love Is a Lie 12. Madina Lake – Pandora 13. Kids In Glass Houses - Girls 14. Fighting With Wire - Everyone Needs A Nemesis 15. Biffy Clyro – Mountains 16. Billy Talent - Try Honesty 17. A - Better Off With Him 18. Jacks Mannequin - The Mixed Tape 19. Cute Is What We Aim For - Loser 20. Amanda Palmer - Leeds United